Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
