mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
