I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
