party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
