I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
