If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
