it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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