This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
