I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize