Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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