I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
