at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
