Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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