this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
