out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize