he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
