i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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