Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
