you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
