so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
