the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
