wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
