I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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