the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize