..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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