he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
