butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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