She said her name was "party"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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