I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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