We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
