Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
