Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
