My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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