where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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