I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You need Xanax blowdarts
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
