At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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