Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
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Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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