Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
