I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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