im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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