What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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