Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I smell stomach acid.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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