My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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