and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this boner is exhausting
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
