I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
