Will you blow on my dice?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize