i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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