Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize