nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.