I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.