Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
