yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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