Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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