Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
soo... how was my night?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
