I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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