No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
