Please, let me fuck your mom
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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