Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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