Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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