This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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