Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
