God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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