he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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